Time out!

Henry in self-mandated “time out.” And yes, we call that the naughty step, because who doesn’t get their best child-rearing tactics from reality TV. The blue stool is his own touch.

A FEW THINGS ABOUT YESTERDAY

A) Henry sobbed for the entire 11-minute drive home from swimming lessons, because I didn’t wait long enough (like til he turned five) for him to mature enough to buckle his own buckle on his car seat. Even though I gave him ample time to practice and explained why he couldn’t ride home working on his buckle. “Henry’s turn! Henry’s turn!”

B) Henry sobbed dramatically over I can’t remember what, but it lasted a good 10 minutes and was highlighted by a repeating loop of him hurling himself into my arms and then running away. And tearfully reporting, “Henry’s turn! Henry’s turn!”

C) Will had a juice box with his lunch at nursery school as a Special Treat (Will usually takes his favorite Sigg bottle with cars with water for lunch) and then at snack had juice and milk. Having had a few Special Treats in the past few months, I am now seeing a pattern—juice does something v. bizarre to his bladder, and he Can’t. Make. It. To. The. Potty. In. Time!

This was all just a long buildup to saying my almost-four-year-old wet himself FOUR times yesterday afternoon, with three more near misses. We both finally agreed that, “All the pee MUST be gone by now, right Mom?”

D) Henry put himself in “time out” and then sobbed mightily when I suggested it was over and time to go upstairs for bed. (Henry has never had a time out, but likes to throw himself dramatically on the Naughty Step and declare “Time out!” Just you wait, Henry.)

E) When changing Henry for bed, he insisted on sitting on the potty, and then cried when, after five minutes of hopping up and down and no business, I suggested it was time for his diaper and pajamas. He’s getting very good at this two-year-old stuff and, as I remind him, he is only 23 months.

A FEW THINGS ABOUT TODAY

A) I’m leaving for my college reunion.

B) Alone.

C) Mommy’s having a time out.

I will miss you terribly, boys, but you will have a great time with Daddy.

Give him a break, will you? Because he has to live with the knowledge that NO ONE WILL BE WAKING ME UP AT 5:30 IN THE MORNING FOR TWO DAYS IN A ROW.

Wayback Wednesday

My 15th college reunion is coming up this weekend, and as a class officer doing the behind-the-scenes preparations, I’ve had my head squarely stuck in the late 80s and early 90s. You know, listening to my (thanks, Jess!) “Eighties Child” mix tape now on iTunes, reminiscing on our class blog and adding to our class Flickr pool of RIDICULOUS photos. And it wasn’t even that long ago. Yeesh.

So, in as a place holder for of some of those embarrassing photos I promised you for your generous March of Dimes donations (and I WILL post those next week, really!), today I give you this brief peek of my college years.

In the interest of full disclosure, these photos are specifically chosen for some of the people who read this blog regularly AND happen to be in some of those photos. For the rest of you, enjoy and DON’T ACT LIKE YOU DIDN’T WEAR LAURA ASHLEY DRESSES, TOO.

Who needs a handbag when you have an attempt at cleavage? You do see what we have stuck in there, right? Oh, and like our matching curls and matching pearls? Off to a formal dance, I think this was 1991 or 1992. I also think I may have had a bubble skirt on the bottom of that dress.

Michelle, I hope you are reading today, this one is for you! Nice decor, eh? NOT MINE

Our senior formal dance. The flowers are blinding me.

I had to find different people to pose with–fewer flowers.

Sorry for the double post, Sarah, but I love this photo!

Easter weekend, senior year of college. These visitors were trying to distract me from my organic chemistry woes. They succeeded—I haven’t used organic chemistry since.

Oh Rebecca, can’t wait to see you this weekend!

First one to find me gets a prize! (No fair if you were in the photo with me.)

Wish you were coming this weekend, Anne! And p.s., can we all please admire how skinny my arms used to be?

From our senior week White Glove Brunch. I wonder what they wear now that Laura Ashley is out of business!

Kind of hard to explain what we were doing, but it was a time-honored college tradition.

Hope you enjoyed the peek back at 1992-93–and be thankful you aren’t wearing a Laura Ashley dress, white pumps and nude panty hose today!

NOTE: I did NOT ever wear the white pumps and hose. Some people in that era did.

I JUST NEED TO MAKE THAT CRYSTAL CLEAR.

Parts and pieces

Sometimes I can’t decide

if I love all the individual

parts and pieces of them

more, or if it’s the

whole delicious whole that I love the most.

For more Best Shot Monday, click here.

Food Friday: Chicken and Corn Chowder

It’s about the fortieth rainy Friday in a row today, and while I greet rain with enthusiasm for the green growth it represents, I would greet it with slightly more enthusiasm if it fell on a day when I wasn’t home. With two boys. Inside.

It isn’t just rainy, either, it’s rainy and chilly. Like so chilly that I just dug a pair of fleece socks out of the winter clothes box that I was about to put in the basement.

So imagine my delight when this recipe showed up in my inbox this week from my dear friend Sarah. I haven’t made it yet, but it sounds wonderful and if my husband will just bring home the bacon (heh, heh) then I am off to the races and making this tonight. (Or tomorrow, depending on when the husband gets home. Because nothing, not even sweet, ever-loving BACON will get me to a grocery store with my two again after a trip we took this week. I’ll spare you the details, but I will say that just when I thought I had everything under control I hear, “Ummmm, ma’am, YOUR KID…?” and turn to see Henry with one leg balanced on the edge of the cart and his three remaining limbs on a large wire display rack featuring two-pound bags of Twizzlers, and now him, too. One more second and he would have been clinging to the rack like a monkey, four feet in the air. And all I could think was, “Seriously, you were making that kind of getaway for Twizzlers? I would have held out for chocolate.”

ANYWAY. THE RECIPE.

(Recipe courtesy of Williams-Sonoma Food Made Fast: Weeknights)

Sarah says:

i found that it was not all that fast and took me almost 2 hours to make instead of the 30 mins they promised. i suppose if you bought pre-chopped vegetables it would only take 30 mins. or maybe i am just a slow chopper.

Chicken and Corn Chowder

* Bacon, 4 slices chopped

* Red Bell Pepper, 1 large, seeded and chopped (I had only 1/2 an orange pepper so I used that)

* Fresh or frozen corn kernels, 4 cups

* 3/4 lb Yukon gold potatoes (i used 12 small red potatoes)

* Chicken Broth, 3 cups

* Dry White Wine, 1/2 cup

* Skinless Boneless Chicken Thighs, 3/4 lbs cut into 1/2 inch chunks

* Green Onions, 6, white and pale green parts thinly sliced (I used a medium yellow onion, minced)

* Fresh Thyme, 3 tablespoons (I used the dregs of my container of dried thyme and then some rosemary)

* Half and Half, 2 1/2 cups (i couldn’t deal with the idea of that much half and half, so i used 1 cup half and half and 1 1/5 cups 2% milk)

* Salt and Freshly Ground Pepper to taste

1. Cook the bacon.
In a saucepan over medium heat, fry the bacon until crisp, about 5 minutes (takes longer than 5 minutes, and use a LARGE saucepan because I misread medium heat as medium saucepan and had to switch pots halfway through). Using a slotted spoon, transfer to paper towels to drain. Pour off all but 3 tablespoons of the drippings.

2. Cook the vegetables and chicken.
Add bell pepper, corn, and potatoes to the same pan over medium heat. Cook, stirring frequently, until the peppers are just softened and the corn and potatoes are slightly tinged with gold, 4-5 minutes. (I added the onions at the point as well). Add the broth and wine, bring to a boil, cover, and cook until the potatoes are almost tender, about 5 minutes. Add the chicken and cook, covered, until opaque throughout, 5-7 minutes.

3.Finish the Chowder
Stir in the green onions, thyme and half and half. Bring to a simmer over medium heat, reduce heatto medium-low, and cook, uncovered, until heated through, about 3 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Ladle the chowder into bowls, sprinkle with the bacon, and serve.

Sarah didn’t say how many it serves, but I’m guessing that it will comfortably serve 6-8, especially with a loaf of Easy French Bread. So if you are Michelle Duggar, the Arkansas mother now pregnant with her 18th child, you’ll probably want to triple that. And as Sarah says, think there are any “J”names left?

What are you having for dinner tonight? Because if that bacon doesn’t come home soon, I’m going to need some ideas.

As promised

A while back I asked if you thought it would be wrong to encourage ill-mannered behavior that I am ultimately going to abolish if I can encourage it just long enough to get it on video?

I did, and I did.

I think I gave it a little too much buildup, but it felt like a good day’s work when I got that on tape, strategically timed when Will was at nursery school so that he didn’t hear me encouraging Henry to say, well, watch and see.*

I won’t say it, because “we don’t say those words.” You’ll just have to watch.

*What word did you THINK I meant? Honestly!

helloooooooo?

Yes, still here, actually.

Just not HERE very much this week.

But I definitely have a treat for you tomorrow.

I PROMISE.

Food Friday: Candlewax?

Between Henry’s molars (I get it! You are erupting! Thank you!) work, out-of-state travel, early sunrises and a few other things, I’ve been burning the candle on both ends so badly this week that I think they just met in the middle.

Which is another way of saying I have nothing much for you today. I do have embarrassing 1990s photos of me next week for you lovely March of Dimes donors (I didn’t forget!) and some other new photos, and I did get some video of one of my children that I should be ashamed of encouraging, but will post anyway, but for today? Nothing. I took my own advice and had a hot chocolate this morning, and may need another this afternoon. In an IV.

I do have a question for you all, though.

How many of you are on Twitter? You know, one of the “fastest growing phenomena on the Internet” according to the NY Times? I see lots of my blogger friends there and only one of my real-life friends. I’m still not sure where I sit on it, but I like parts of it and can see some really interesting uses for it in the future. If you are on Twitter, leave your info in the comments!

And if anyone wants to come over and get up with Henry at 5:50 tomorrow morning? Let me know and I’ll leave you a spare key. Kthanxbai.

The Merry Month of May

Happy May Day!

Image from Will’s nursery school May Day walk, taken today as 16 nursery-schoolers hung May baskets on houses throughout the village. Wouldn’t you like to come to find that hanging on your door?

Wishing you a day of unexpected surprises, too.

Behind the scenes at Real Simple

So last week, I was one of five lucky women to be photographed in NYC for a story in the July 2008 issue of Real Simple.

The story is about “upgrading your casual look” and upgrade me they did, with a hot pink and orange Tory Burch linen top and a pair of 7 for All Mankind white jeans, which actually look a lot like the ones on the 7 homepage. Except I look nothing like that, so you can imagine how that worked out.

Then, they finished me off with the cutest pair of Elie Tahari pink patent leather driving mocs (see above), and I just about fell out of my chair a minute ago when I looked them up on Zappos to show you a photo and see how much they cost. Those of you that know me are laughing right now, but upgraded I was, and I got to keep the whole outfit (minus the jewelry), plus it was tailored to fit me on set.

But anyway, enough talking. Today I present to you the photos of Real Simple behind the scenes.

As I mentioned, I stayed at the super posh Hudson Hotel, bathed in the acid green light that glows from its very pores.

My room.

That molded metal chair was about as comfortable as it looks. Say hello to Ann Curry in my swing-out wall mounted plasma TV. Like the wall lamp?

The “before” set.

Seamstress Diana working on my outfit while I’m photographed in my “before” clothes.

Real Simple photo director, fashion director and stylist waiting for me to get my hair and nails done.

(Photos by my FABULOUS, WONDERFUL makeup artist D’Angelo)

Hearing about Reese, Eva, Julia, Teri, Kate (Hudson), Kate (Beckinsale), Maggie and all the other A listers that my manicurist, hairstylist and makeup artist have worked on. Cameron Diaz is an “absolute doll” and Scarlett Johanssen is “such a natural beauty she hardly needs any makeup at all.” You heard it here first.

Building the set (it got changed about four times).

Amazing photographer David Land and Real Simple photo editor scrutinizing the Polaroids.

Lunch with fashion and photo team. Notice me, the one not eating. When I did eat two hours later, it was GOOD! (They brought new food in for me since I was dressed and couldn’t eat at lunch. Best guac I’ve ever had.)

More set changes.

Changing area with shoes, shoes, shoes.

The studio.

Molly and Elizabeth, these shots are for you!

All in my size, too!

The lovely Lynn from Pennsylvania, one of the other subjects of the story.

More set changes.

More set changes.

The FAN! Yes, like a 1970s Breck girl, I had a fan blowing my tresses. Hard not to laugh when the fan came out!

I think this was the final version of my set.

Wonderful D’Angelo, doing Lynn’s makeup.

Alejandra doing Lynn’s hair (and a preview of her “after” outfit.)

And your official preview of the July 2008 issue—a few of the Polaroids from the shoot.

And that’s a wrap!

If you aren’t on my Real Simple casting forwards list and want to be, tell me in the comments! And if you are on the list and don’t respond to the queries, why not—you get too many overnights in New York, haircuts, hairstylings, manicures, pedicures and outfits for FREE?

I hope I’ll see you all in Real Simple. Stephanie responded to one on my list, and look at her day in the Real Simple spotlight! (She’s going to be in the July issue, too.)

Mama’s got a new pair of shoes

It was awesome, wonderful and amazing, and I can’t wait to share all the photos and stories later. Like wait til you hear all the amazing celebrities my MANICURIST has worked on. That she told me about while she was doing my nails and toes.

But in the meantime, I have two little monkeys here to catch up with, because as wonderful as it is to be pampered in New York City, it’s that much better to come home again.

P.S. I got to keep the outfit.

P.P.S. My hips are not really as wide as they look here. Note to self: this is a seriously unflattering angle!

Live from New York, it’s Thursday morning

I’m in New York right now, waking up in the poshest hotel in existence. Even the hotel employees are hipsters, and I think there is some serious irony that Real Simple has put up five women who have “traded style for comfort” at this hotel. I’m just saying.

Everyone here at this hotel is skinny, gorgeous and super cool and hip in that is-he-gay-or-is-he-European way.

I spent hours walking in the city last evening, past the midtown office dwellers springing free at 6 p.m., past the faux-handbag guys packing up their wares, past the Ritz-Carlton and Plaza Hotel bordering the park, over to the east side and my favorite cupcake store, skirting the hot mess of Times Square and grabbing a slice of pizza. I got a pedicure, I poked my head in the Apple store, I wondered why FAO Schwartz was closed at 7 p.m. and all the while I realized that this was the first time I had left the house without a diaper bag since 2004.

Time to hit the showers, photo shoot at 10 a.m.!

P.S. They want a “before” photo, I am CRINGING

If I could upload images, you’d see yummy cupcakes

While I have no time to be doing this, I CAN’T leave that last post up while I hop off to NYC for my Real Simple photo shoot. Or if I did, it would be CRYSTAL CLEAR as to why I needed to go have a makeover.

So here’s a little something to cleanse your palate, so to speak.

They tasted even better than they looked.

(%&*#$! WordPress isn’t letting me upload photos today, so you get a link instead. Is WordPress working for you today?)