Sleeping like a baby and other news

While I’m sure the victory is temporary, we’ll claim victory all the same.

For the last two nights, my husband has executed the finest in Supernanny bedtime technique, specifically the “Calmly and Quietly Carry Him Back To Bed Over And Over Without Engaging Him In Conversation Even If It Takes All Night” technique, and after less than ten minutes each time, Will was in bed for the night.

I was not involved with the bedtime routine on the first night of going all Supernanny on Will because I was downstairs enjoying a half gallon of “Half Lytely,” in preparation for a little procedure made famous by Katie Couric in 2000. For the record? The claim made on the product packaging, “Now available in delicious lemon-lime flavor!” is overselling it JUST A LITTLE BIT.


But, as anyone who has ever done this will tell you, drinking that stuff is truly the worst part. (Or maybe saying the word “colonoscopy” out loud to your friends and coworkers.)

But the procedure itself? I guess it really happened, but the last thing I remember from before the drugs was my doctor asking me if I was still speaking to her after the prep, and the next thing I knew I was drinking ginger ale with a bendy straw. It was THAT easy. Plus I got to sleep all afternoon on a delicious cloud of Demerol while my aunt and my husband chased two boys.

So, I write about this topic for one reason only—if you have a family history of colon cancer, or if you are of an age that screening is recommended, don’t put it off. If my mom had only known she needed to go for screening at my age, she might have lived to meet my husband and her grandsons—colon cancer has a 90 percent cure rate if detected in time. As Katie Couric says, “Colon cancer is a lot more inconvenient than a colonoscopy.”

I got a clean bill of health after my screening, which gets me a five-year pass until the next one. And hopefully we’ll see five more years of serious R & D on that prep solution, DO YOU HEAR ME OUT THERE, RESEARCHERS?


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