So, three and a half years into this parenting gig, I finally had the kind of poop experience that you hear stories about before you have kids. (Hi Megan, I do still remember your blueberry poop story!)
So, soon-to-be first time parents? STEP AWAY from the computer screen and go rock serenely for a few minutes in your pristine Pottery Barn Kids nursery while I tell this story. And enjoy that nursery the way it looks now, WITH NO KIDS IN IT.
The other morning dawned sunny and warm for January in these parts. Will’s lunch was packed, his nursery school bag was packed, the boys were fed and I was actually organized enough to take the time to put the boys in the stroller and walk Will to nursery school. I got Will dressed, and just as I was about to get Henry into his clothes, Will sniffs the air, turns to me and says, “Mom, what’s that smell?”
Like in a bad sitcom, we both turn and stare down Henry at the same time.
Henry, still in his footie pajamas, takes one look at us, knows the jig is up and takes off, giggling. But not before my eyes fall upon the large lump around his left ankle. Which can only be his diaper, the one that has abandoned the safe confines of his waist and shimmied all the way down his leg while still inside his pajamas. And judging from the smell, this isn’t going to end well for anyone.
I sigh, shelve my dreams of a midwinter walk in nearly 60-degree weather and begin the process of extracting Henry from his poop-lined pjs, and removing the patina of poop that covers him from his ARMPITS TO HIS TOES. All while Will looks on excitedly, handing me wipes and soap and washcloths.
Tell me, would you have saved the pajamas?* The fact that Henry has now started sitting stark naked on the potty while saying “‘pee! poop! potty!” DOES NOT MAKE UP FOR IT.
*(I did, but it was a tough call. I almost sent them on their way to poop heaven. It was that bad.)
* * *
And for my Best Shot Monday, something a little different. I didn’t take these, but have you ever seen anything so fantastic as these posed preschool portraits? I thought not.
Henry’s, taken three months ago at sixteen months, was timed perfectly to showcase his first black eye. And his felon expression.
And somewhere out there is a portrait photographer who can actually make my slender, nearly waifish son look like a neckless brute.
And these? These are just SO AWESOME that I have no words for them. Well, except to say I have NEVER seen my son sit in either of those positions before. But clearly he is so happy about it that I ought to encourage it at home.
For more fantastic Best Shot Monday and maybe even more felonious-looking toddlers, head over to Mother May I!