1001 Reasons Why I Am Still Awake and Coming Downstairs, by Henry


Henry, age three.

Watch Hill, RI      September 7, 2009

Oh, Henry.

He’s reached that magical age where he can’t QUITE make it without a nap, but when he does nap, he can’t fall asleep before 8:30 or 9, sometimes more than 1.5 hours after his dog-tired brother.

So we go about our evening business, while pretending not to hear Henry repeatedly skulking down the stairs before we quietly carry him back up again. Over and over.

But tonight I realized how exceptional and sincere he is about this bedtime game, and I would wager that Henry can beat ANYONE’s kid in the “1001 Reasons Why I Am Still Awake and Coming Downstairs” contest.


Tonight’s surprise entry: “Dad, I need to make popsicles. And my knee is bleeding.”

A few other recent entries:

1. “I need water. I am SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO thirsty.” (I do not exaggerate even a single SO.)

2. (Teary, lower lip trembling.) “Mommy, I can’t find the other tank for my Playmobil scuba diver.”

3.  ((Teary, lower lip trembling.) “I can feel my knee bleeding on the inside.”

4. “I need to go potty. And I have to come downstairs to do it.”

5. “I’m afraid of the dark. I’m just so afraid.” (The 75-watt hall light seems to have gone unnoticed here.)

6. “What’s for dinner tomorrow?”

7.  “William hit me.” (William, who has been asleep for more than an hour.)

8.  “The hall light is too bright.”

9. “I have a headache.”

10. “I’m SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO hungry.”

11. “I can’t see my books, it’s too dark.”

12. “I have a bloody toe.” (Not so.)

13. “Dad, look, I found an astronaut in this book!”

14. “Mom, it’s raining. It’s raining TOO HARD.”

15. (Teary, lower lip trembling.) “Daddy, there are monsters upstairs, I can hear them.”

16. “Mom, what’s that sound?”

17. “(Teary, lower lip trembling.) “I found my crane parts and not my CRAAAAAAAAANE!”

Next time I’m videotaping it.

I think he’s finally asleep.


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10 Responses to “1001 Reasons Why I Am Still Awake and Coming Downstairs, by Henry”

  1. B. Says:

    gold star for creativity

  2. Rush Says:

    L O V E this.

  3. marie Says:

    so stinkin funny. ilove theone about bleeding on the inside.

  4. andiana Says:

    …and these things AREN’T covered in Lamaze classes…Why?

  5. Jyl Says:

    made me smile! too, too cute!

  6. Melissa Says:

    Future doctor or oscar winning actor?

  7. Sheila Says:

    Well, that sweet face is pretty hard to say no to.

  8. Christina Says:

    ““I can feel my knee bleeding on the inside.” – that one takes the cake!

    Too stinkin’ funny! He is one imaginative kid. But, asleep by 9:00 is considered late? N’s bedtime is 8, but she’s OFTEN awake more-or-less in her bed until 10:00 or later!

  9. christine Says:

    We once tried to get all SuperNanny on Mo and put him back to bed, over and over, without saying a word. I wrote “Love is PATIENT” across the top of a sheet of paper, then we made hatch marks for every time we put him back in bed.

    I kid you not, we finally got him to sleep SEVENTY-SIX returns later. It was nearly 11 p.m., and we caved: Dale sat in Mo’s bedroom and scratched his back for 15 minutes until he stopped fighting and started sleeping.

    Gotta love parenthood! Especially bedtime.

  10. Chistian Orobello Says:

    Malachi had the standard “there are rattle snakes under my bed the other night” but he surprised us with “I can’t sleep because mr froggie’s (a webkin frog) back legs are wobbly” What does that even mean? Maybe he was delirious (I know I was).

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