Some days you’re the windshield, some days you’re the bug

windshield.jpg

If you were to look closely at the right side of my lower lip today, you would see a little purple sploch. It’s actually a burn, caused by BOILING WATER, widely known for its burning prowess, delivered directly to my lip from the innermost folds of a curly piece of tubular pasta. I was checking to see if the pasta was ready, I drained it (or so I thought) in a slotted spoon over the sink, but one of those little convolutions of the pasta had just enough boiling water hidden in it to cause the above mentioned lip trauma. OUCH.

Then, if your gaze fell to my left index fingernail, you would see the purple mark under the fingernail from an incident yesterday, in which I neatly, earnestly and firmly shut my door on my own finger. I thought I had long since mastered the complex spatial relationship between door, frame and limb, but ironically, I was looking down at the floor trying to figure out why it wouldn’t close. I kicked the miniature Land Rover out of the way and, satisfied, pulled the door shut. With all of my strength.

And then finally, if you had followed me from my car in the parking lot to my desk at work this morning, you would have been tangled in a very fine trail of khaki-colored thread, formerly doing the important work of holding the hem of my skirt in place, now creating a giant web across a state road. And if you had come into my office to ask about the web I was spinning, you would have seen me affixing Scotch tape to my now bedraggled hem. And wondering if staples or sticky notes would have been a better choice.

How’s your day going?

Oh, and greetings, readers of the lovely and amazing writer Jennifer from Pinwheels and Parent Dish. Not sure if this is what she had in mind when sending you here during her vacation, but, seriously folks, you should see this hem. It’s a work of art.

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23 Responses to “Some days you’re the windshield, some days you’re the bug”

  1. Molly Says:

    Sounds like you have a case of Anna v. The Universe. Hope I didn’t pass it on to you!

  2. Maya Says:

    Oh dear…you’ve had a day, or couple of days! Hope the rest of the day is incident free!

  3. B. Says:

    They say that things tend to happen in three’s.

    Maybe your day will now be on the upswing!

  4. itsallabouthallie Says:

    Oh, I have had those days! This to shall pass! i am of the mindset things happen in threes, so lets hope you are on the upswing!

  5. Karen Says:

    Ouch, ouch, and boo! Hopefully that old adage about bad things in threes will hold, and you’ll be all done. But just to be safe, make sure you check your shoe for toilet paper as you’re leaving the bathroom…

  6. MelodyA. Says:

    Well, I’m a believer in Karma. What did you do wrong the day before? Musta been a doozie. Hope you day gets better.

  7. kwarterlifecrisis Says:

    Ah man. I hate the universe. At least you’re probably wearing cute shoes. I’m sporting the clonky slides again today. Just take Molly’s advice- cute shoes always make a day better so maybe you just need a little retail therapy on the way home from work. :)

    Oh, and I totally would have gone for staples. I had a waitress the other day who honestly stapled the back of her black pants shut. It wasn’t super obvious unless the light hit just right and illuminated the metal staples. I left her a nice tip because, you know, obviously she needed a few bucks for a little sewing kit. Or just some new pants.

  8. Maggie Says:

    It could be a sign for you to go over to Pennywise and get yourself a new skirt! :)

  9. my minivan is faster than yours Says:

    It’s 10 in the morning here, but if you want me to get drunk on your behalf, I’ll do it. Just say the word.

  10. Christina Says:

    Just think – it least it can only get better from here! (at least, I sure hope so!!!)

  11. Chelle Says:

    I like MINIVAN’S advice. Let’s get drunk. When the universe makes you a bug on a windshield, you should at least leave a a wet, goey, DRUNK splatter!

    Girls’ Night Out? We can get the boys to pick us up after our debachery…

    :-0

  12. Jennifer Says:

    Well, better than that!

    My weekend sucked, though. Hope my misery can make you feel better! (And getting drunk DOES cure many a woe!)

  13. Laura McIntyre Says:

    What a day, hope this one is much better. Maybe you will have great luck and win the lottery or something this week?

  14. mikesgotnothin Says:

    So, do you have any ice cream?

  15. Anna Says:

    Right under my desk, let me get it for you!

  16. L B Says:

    Anna this is NOT a good day for you :( OUCH to the lip and the fingernail. I hope those feel better soon! In response to the “get drunk” comments above…Don’t forget what today is: Thirsty Thursday so it only seems right for you to “self medicate” yourself after work with at least a glass of wine, or a beer or a cocktail of some sort! It’s almost the weekend so no more crossing the state street with or without a good hem!

  17. Tammy and Parker Says:

    I hope you are on the mend. Oh, and I duct tape all kinds of things up…..hems included. :)

  18. onebigholiday Says:

    You need some cake!

  19. Windshield vs. Bug, the update « Hank & Willie Says:

    [...] Hank & Willie Shockingly regular entries since early 2007 « Some days you’re the windshield, some days you’re the bug [...]

  20. libound Says:

    Oh dear. If it’s any consolation: cream cheese in my hair at the opening breakfast of new job this week. Do you remember the Nanci Griffith song echoing your title? Hope the weekend balances the karma of the week of the web.

  21. arizaphale Says:

    ooooo I know that finger feeling! Mine was in the car door. Then I realised I had locked it and had to wait for my husband to come around to my side of the car and unlock it!!! (before the days of central/remote locking)
    Hope yours recovers quickly. Oh and by the way, most of my husband’s trousers were held up with gaffer tape when I met him. A perfectly legitimate response to an emergency on your behalf I’d say.

  22. amygeekgrl (Crunchy Domestic Goddess) Says:

    oh good lord. i’m grimacing in pain for you. i closed a car door on my finger when i was 21. the door was locked too. my sister had to run around to the other side of the car and climb in to open it for me. lost the fingernail. damn that hurt.
    healing thoughts…

  23. Moo Says:

    hee! sounds like a perfect day so far!
    ;)

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